Rebirth
by usakiwigirl
Summary: Jack watches Ianto during his suspension.


Rebirth

Jack stood in the door, silently watching as Ianto paced from one end of the living room to the other. Three weeks into his suspension and he was finally showing signs of coming out of the depressive funk he had been in since the debacle with his cybernised girlfriend. Jack had made a point to spend as much time as he could spare with Ianto, despite the fact that he was patently unwanted. The first week, Ianto had paid him no attention at all, merely sitting despondent in the corner of his couch, pillow held tight to his chest and silent tears streaming down his face.

The second week, Ianto had deigned to notice him, the first night by connecting his wicked right hook with Jack's unresisting jaw, the second night by throwing a glass at his head. The pattern had continued for the next four nights, with screamed insults and epithets tossed along with random objects with equal vigour. Jack counted himself lucky that he had a) many years practise at dodging flying crockery tossed at his head and b) a thick skin so that the insults just bounced off.

By the beginning of the third week, Ianto had given up throwing things, both physical and metaphorical, and had started talking, at first to himself, then little by little, including Jack in random comments. Jack still wasn't starting any of the conversations, he didn't think Ianto would appreciate that kind of forward behaviour from him yet, but he did answer when a comment or question was aimed his way, subtly steering Ianto into revealing more and more about his relationship with Lisa and his life pre-Canary Wharf.

At this moment, Ianto was reminiscing about the camping trip he and Lisa had taken, just a few months before it had all gone to shit. He was twitchy, clearly uncomfortable, but Jack had noticed that once he started, he didn't seem able to stop, almost as if he _needed_ to spew out the memories to cleanse his mind. A mental spring-cleaning, Jack supposed. Clear out the cobwebs so that the happy memories could rest in peace.

"It was fucking cold in that tent, too. We had two sleeping bags - we were going to zip them together to make a double, but we ended up squashed into the one, then did some pretty intense gymnastics to wriggle into the other, too. Lisa laughed so hard."

Jack kept his voice quiet, even, as he spoke. "You would have looked pretty ridiculous."

Ianto continued as if he hadn't heard a thing, although Jack could see the skin around his eyes tighten just a little. "It was warmer, but not comfortable - well, not for me. A hot woman squashed up against me and I couldn't even move? Not to mention it was too fucking cold to do anything. I'd have frozen my dick if I'd tried."

"Can't have that." Jack was careful to keep that statement even quieter. He knew that he'd probably never be able to flirt quite the same way with Ianto as he did before, which bothered him more than he thought it would.

A quick flick of Ianto's eyes in his direction told him that he had been heard despite trying to keep that one to himself. However, for the first time, he noted that there was no anger behind the gaze. Instead, Ianto looked almost to be suppressing humour, whether at Jack or himself, he wasn't sure, but it boded well all the same.

"A dog pissed on the tent in the middle of the night. Fuck, that was nasty. We tried to get out of the tent, as it was leaking in - we didn't want to get the sleeping bags wet, but we became tangled. Lisa fell hard, twisted her ankle really badly. I had to carry her out when we left, there was no way she could do it on her own. It was a week before she could walk normally again. Didn't put her off camping though. She loved being outdoors, loved the feel of earth under her nails. Never did get that, myself." His voice trailed off. He'd stopped pacing, and was now standing at the window, staring out at the small garden behind his flat.

Jack watched and waited. He had a feeling that there was more to come this evening. Without warning, Ianto turned to face him, looking him directly in the eye for the first time since that fateful night. His gaze was clear, with no recriminations or anger. "I need to do something for Lisa. Will you help me?"

Jack took only a second or so to think over his answer. "Sure. What do you need?"

Two hours later, the two men stood in the garden, light cloud covering what would be a beautiful full moon, were it visible, a cool breeze leaving a slight chill in the air. Jack held a shovel in one hand, while Ianto had a row of plants laid out on the ground in front of him, as he decided which would go where. Pride of place was a small ornamental cherry tree sapling that Ianto had spotted while shopping for the flowers. He had pounced on the tree with obvious delight, a genuine smile lighting his face for the first time in weeks. Jack had answered back with a blinding grin of his own, which had caused Ianto to truncate the smile abruptly, though his eyes still crinkled, which was a vast improvement over the morose expression he'd been wearing throughout his suspension.

Ianto had decided that creating a small memorial garden would be a demonstrable way to showcase Lisa's memory. Jack agreed, knowing that this would give Ianto a physical way to work through his grief, as well as give him an excuse to leave the Hub at regular intervals to provide the necessary upkeep. Now, it was just a case of turning over the earth and planting everything.

Ianto turned to look at Jack, his face serious. "Thank you, for this." He said nothing more, but Jack didn't really expect him to. This was a new beginning, for both of them. Rebirth, as it were. From here, they could move forward and rebuild the trust that had been lost. It would take time, and a hell of a lot of effort, but he knew that in the end, it would be worth it.

"You're welcome."

End


End file.
